All of the lights...

I'm not a novice to auditory hallucinations anymore, they're commonplace, but despite that they're difficult to explain.  They're elusive and hard to memorize, making recall very difficult.

But something new has crept up on me.  Visual hallucinations that are part delusion and lead to major paranoia.  Lately I see my thoughts in lights, like a table lamp or a florescent ceiling light.  Each word pours out of the light they radiate.  Which leads me to believe that anyone paying attention can see my thoughts.

So nothing feels secret anymore.  I vacillate between being paranoid about it, to being totally annoyed when someone asks how I am.  Can't they see it?  All of it, floating out of the beams of light?  So in... light... of this I've come to prefer darkness, or dimly lit places, where I don't feel so exposed and vulnerable, making going out, or even having people over a real hassle.

-E